I'm Gonna Love You Like I'm Gonna Lose You
by savvydaun05
Summary: Eggsy (Taron Egerton) has just lost the love of his life, Lucie (Jesy Nelson). Thankfully, it was just a nightmare. But that doesn't stop him from thinking about his relationship and all of the ways it could end in the blink of an eye. In that moment, he makes a promise not just to Lucie, but to himself too. (EggsyxOC)


**HI EVERYONE! I am on a roll! Three stories in three days! AND IT'S NEARLY CHRISTMAS! YAY! Now, I would like to mention here that this story will be a little bit different than my recent stories. I was going to do this from Lucie's (my OC) perspective, but after some serious thinking I thought it would be best to tell it from Eggsy's perspective. It will be my first story that is _emotional_ and a tad bit _sad_. Hopefully, I will not disappoint you.**

 ***Lucie Wilkes (my OC) is portrayed by Jesy Nelson (big surprise, I know!).**

 ****I do not own Kingsman, it's characters, Meghan Trainor, John Legend, or their song "Like I'm Gonna Lose You".**

 *****Although I will be putting in references to the song, I will not be adding in the lyrics. For this kind of story, adding in the lyrics every so often will probably take away from the story. For anyone who does not know the song, I recommend that you listen to it beforehand so that you can get a feel of what is to come (it's a _really_ good song!).**

 ******I am sorry if my characters are OOC at any point in the story.**

 _God she looks so beautiful,_ Eggsy thought as he walked side-by-side with his girlfriend, Lucie, on the beaches of Rio. They were finally granted some vacation time from Kingsman and decided to spend a full week touring in South America. To say that it felt like heaven on earth was an understatement. Every moment Eggsy spent with Lucie was filled with joy and magic. They were always joking around and laughing out loud. Everything was so perfect.

Eggsy suddenly found himself pulling Lucie in close and giving her a very long, very passionate kiss. "I love you," he sighed as he pulled away.

"I love you, too," she replied, a smile slowly forming.

 _God she looks so beautiful,_ Eggsy found himself thinking again as he looked down at her. She was indeed beautiful, with her perfectly round face, her dark plump lips, her dark eyes, her tanned skin, her long dark hair. How he was able to look at this every day for the past year was beyond him.

"Hey," she broke his train of thought as she reached down into her purse. "Take a picture?"

"Of course," Eggsy said, getting the camera set up in no time. Lucie took a few steps back and began to pose, her hand on her hip while her other hand was behind her head. Eggsy couldn't help but laugh at her as he positioned himself and got the camera to focus.

"Okay!" he called out. "On the count of three. One. Two..."

 _ **BANG!**_

In a split second, before Eggsy could say three, a small projectile object found it's way into the side of Lucie's head. Her eyes went wide as her whole body went limp and fell to the floor. She crashed sideways and just laid there in the sand, dead.

 _ **"NOOOO!"**_ Eggsy screamed.

* * *

He woke up with a sudden jolt. A strange light coming from the side blinded him for a moment and made him gasp and pant in shock. His heart raced fiercely as his eyes darted around, trying to configure his surroundings. He couldn't tell where exactly he was, but he knew that something was wrong. Something was missing. Or rather, _someone._

 _Lucie!_ he screamed in his mind.

 _Lucie is dead?! Lucie is dead?! No. No. No! No! It can't be. It can't be. It can't be!_

Eggsy's thoughts were coming at about a million miles a minute.

 _Please don't let it be true. Please don't let it be true! This can't be happening. This can't be happening. I can't go through this again. I can't do it again._

Tears threatened to come out, adding on the the cold sweat that was forming on his brow. Looking behind him he saw an opening and hastily made a run for it. "Lucie?! _Lucie!_ " he found himself calling out. He soon encountered a dark hallway, at the end of which was what looked like to be stairs. Without really thinking he bolted down and up, still calling for his love.

"Lucie! Lucie! **Lucie!** "

He could not reach the second floor or go through all of it's rooms fast enough. When he finally got to the last room, he came face-to-face with a miraculous sight.

There, standing in front of him, in all of her beauty and liveliness, in an over-sized T-shirt and shorts, with concern and panic written on her face...

Was Lucie Wilkes.

A huge breath of relief puffed itself out and brought with it a new and overflowing set of tears as Eggsy fell towards her, capturing her and pulling her down with him.

"Eggsy?!" she tried, although she could barely be heard through her boyfriend's sobs. "Eggsy, what's wrong?! Eggsy?! Eggsy, please! Talk to me! Tell me what's wrong!" Even though she had absolutely no idea what was going on, she knew deep down that it had to be something traumatic. She had never seen Eggsy like this. Of course there were times when he felt depressed and weak. However, it never had been this intense.

"Eggsy, please," she pleaded, her voice much softer. "Tell me what's wrong?"

Eggsy shook his head and mumbled, "No. No."

"Okay. Okay," Lucie whispered. She stroked his head and rubbed his back to get his breathing to steady out. After a few minutes of just sitting on the ground, Eggsy finally calmed down a little. It was at this point when Lucie decided to lift them both up. She gently grabbed Eggsy from under his arms and slowly pulled him up and towards the bed. His grip on her never loosened and his gaze never left hers for a second. She finally laid him down on his back and placed herself next to him. For a while all they could do was lay there in silence and darkness. It was broken when Lucie tried again. "Eggsy?"

"Mmm," was all he managed to get out, and Lucie saw that as a hopeful start. She kept going.

"What happened?"

Nothing.

Eggsy said nothing, at first.

He had finally gathered most of his bearings. He knew that what he had just experienced was nothing but a dream, a nightmare. Lucie wasn't dead. She was right next to him, looking as beautiful and alive as ever. And yet...

Another few tears were close to coming out, but he forced himself to sniffle them away. He forced himself to be strong and just talk.

"I had a nightmare," he began, surprised to actually hear his normal speaking voice after his screaming and crying. "It was about you... You and me... we were walking... along the beach... I was taking your picture... and... and..."

The tears came out and he didn't stop them. He cried and cried while clinging onto Lucie for dear life. She didn't mind. She held him back with just as much force. She rubbed his back some more and kept on repeating, "It's okay, Eggsy. It's okay."

After a several more minutes of comforting, Lucie said, "You don't have to go on if you don't want to."

Eggsy wanted to. In a way, he _needed_ to. He had to explain himself to his love.

"You... You... You got... shot... in the head."

Lucie gasped. Suddenly everything became clear.

Lucie and Eggsy made a promise back when they first started dating that they would always be honest with each other and not judge, whether good or bad. It wasn't until the third month of dating when Eggsy put this to the ultimate test. He finally told her about the most tragic event in his life.

The death of Harry Hart.

A death that was so quick yet so painful at the same time. And Eggsy had witnessed it. And he couldn't do anything about it.

"Eggsy," she found her blubbering, on the verge of tears herself, "I am so, so, _so_ sorry."

Eggsy could only shake his head and bury himself deeper into her, finding that there wasn't enough contact between them even though they were practically pressed into each other. Another period of silence followed as the events of the night sunk in.

Eggsy was scared. He was not ashamed to admit it. Who wouldn't be scared after witnessing the "death" of the love of their life, especially someone as special and wonderful as Lucie Wilkes? It scared him. The whole situation scared him. It wasn't just the situation, but it was also what the situation meant. What it _could_ mean for him. For Lucie.

In that moment, in that flash of a second, he made a decision. He gathered up all of the courage and strength he could and sat up, bringing Lucie up with him.

"Lucie," he started, turning slowly to her and looking her dead in the eye, "I'm going to tell you something."

"Okay." She had his undivided attention.

"I love you. I really, _really_ love you. I know that I tell you that all the time. And I've always meant it. Always. But now... I've realized that you and me are always going to be in danger. It's inevitable. I know that. I can't stop it. I can't force you to stop what you do because I know you enjoy it and I do it too. But.. I've lost someone before. Someone I loved. I never got the chance to make things right with him or give him a proper goodbye. And I care about you too much to let that happen with you. So... from now on, if I stare at you a little longer, or kiss you a little bit harder, or hold on to you a little bit tighter... just know that I'm doing it because I love you and I don't know when it all could end. I know that's probably not the best thing to do. Think about the bad before it's already happened. But... I just can't help it. I love you."

Now Lucie was the one bawling her eyes out and clutching on to Eggsy, her face hidden in the crook of his neck. "Eggsy... Eggsy..." was all she could get out. Together, they laid back down on the bed and Eggsy gently scooted them up so their heads properly rested on the pillows. They continued to lay there, their breathing patterns and heart rates close to matching. Eggsy took a chance and looked down, finding Lucie to be sound asleep. He took another chance and looked to the doorway, a small ray of light illuminating from downstairs. Remembering where he came from, he removed himself from Lucie's embrace and quietly went back downstairs.

The source of the light was coming from his study. He took in the room where he awoke nearly an hour before. His vast collection of books on the wall looked familiar. The rolling chair he was sitting in also gave him a clue. Then there was the array of papers and folders that were laid out on the desk, all of which had Kingsman logos on them. That's when it all came back. He was staying up late to go through some upcoming missions that month. He had fallen asleep while going through one of the files.

 _Oh well,_ he rationed, _it can wait until the morning._ He shut off the light from the table lamp and cleverly made his way back to his room. Along the way, he began removing his clothes, starting with his pants and moving up to his shirt. By the time he came back, he was in his boxers. He simply laid his laundry on a nearby chair and turned back to the bed. Although it was dark he could clearly make out Lucie's form sitting up under the covers.

"Hey," he said, swiftly moving to his side and getting under the sheets.

"Hey," she replied, suddenly grabbing him by the neck and kissing him. For some reason this kiss felt different than before. _It must be my promise kicking in,_ Eggsy reasoned. Not that he minded. Once he put his mind to something, he never strayed. Now was not an exception. The declaration he made to Lucie would not be forgotten.

After a few precious moments, Lucie pulled away and said, "This is _my_ promise to _you_."

Eggsy looked confused until Lucie continued. "I promise never to take a single moment with you for granted. I promise to love you harder, hold you harder, kiss you harder, and be there for you as much as I possible can. Because you're right. We don't know when it all could end. And I'm not going to let one moment slip by with you. I love you, too."

Eggsy smiled a wide smile. It was such a relief that he was not alone. He was glad that Lucie felt the same way. Of course, she had always felt the same way. But now... somehow now it was different. Their relationship had taken on a whole new meaning and had somehow gone deeper than ever before. There was nothing wrong with that, though. In fact, Eggsy could not have asked for more.

 **Wow. As I was writing this, it went in all sorts of different directions. However, I am happy with the final result and I hope you all are too. Thank you so much for reading and following me. Please review if you like, read some of my other works, and keep in touch. You never know when another new story could come up. Goodnight and have a merry Christmas.**


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